Are any of your beliefs outdated?
I was brought up on the belief that when you make a person a promise, you are suppose to "Keep Your Word" no matter what. Sometimes, "Keeping My Word" challenges my mental state of peace.
I am an emotional person and I oftentimes make decisions based on my emotions and not based on logic. So, when I am in a situation and I need to change my mind and not "Keep My Word" I am torn between doing the right thing and following through on my promise.
Here is what I mean:
Scenario #1
This week I was talking to a dear friend of mine and she shared with me that her sister had just died. My friend was crying and I could hear her pain in her voice as she shared with me memories of her sister.
My first instinct, which was an emotional response, was to say "I am coming home to be with you." After I had committed to come home and be with my friend, it dawned on me that my friend lives in another state and my finances are not in order to be traveling to another state. Although I wanted to be with my friend, financially it did not make sense for me to travel to be with her in her time of grief.
My Inner Peace conflict was, "Should I keep my word and go home to my grieving friend or should I tell my friend that emotionally I am with her but due to financial reasons I am unable to go home and be with her?"
Scenario #2
I was talking on the phone to an acquaintance of mine and she asked me if I had any plans on Friday. I responded without thinking "No." She then asked me to attend a party with her and I agreed. After I hung up the phone with my friend, I realized that once again I made an emotional response and not a logical one. I had to work on Saturday morning and if I went to the party on Friday I would not be at my best on Saturday.
My Inner Peace conflict was "Should I keep me word or tell her that I acted in haste when I told her that I could attend the party with her?"
Examining My Belief System
My grandfather taught me that "Your Word is equated with your Character". When I did not keep my word, I felt guilty or like I was letting my grandfather down.
What was actually happening when I made a hasty decision and then I attempted to recant my decision, mentally I was feeling guilty. And guess what, if you feel guilty for long periods of time, then you will not be able to maintain your Inner Peace. Inner Peace is a tranquil state of being unlike feeling guilty which is a state of conflictual emotions.
So here is what I had to do....
Instead of feeling guilty about changing my mind, I examined the person who I believed myself to be. I concluded that I am not a terrible person and my character is up to par even though I sometimes make decisions in haste and without thinking. Instead of feeling guilty about one aspect of my character, I looked at myself from a holistic perspective and I decided that there are some areas in my life that I needed to improve on but there are also some aspects of my character which are commendable.
I am able to maintain my Inner Peace because I concluded just because I do not always "Keep My Word" does not mean that I have poor character.
What are some of your beliefs that you need to challenge ?
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