Inner Peace and Joy Daily Tip: Develop a Behavior Plan of Action

I Have a Very Stressful Job!

Maintaining my inner peace can be difficult at times due to the fact that I have a very stressful job. I work with high risk male youths and I face all types of negative behaviors daily that opposes my mental state of peace. It is not uncommon for me to get cursed at, physical threatened and verbally challenged when I give a directive.

The facility where I am employed has a high turn over rate with the youth, so the dynamics of the residents are constantly changing. The ages of the youth range from 13- 18. Based on the dynamics of the facility, what I have discovered about myself is when the group has an occupancy of older males 16+ I am better able to deal with their behaviors because they seem to be more disciplined.

On the other hand, when the facility is occupied with younger residents and residents who are mentally challenged, I have a more difficult time maintaining my inner peace. I am usually mentally stressed out.

Tips To Help You Maintain Your Inner Peace at Work

It is important to understand that when you are working on maintaining your inner peace that you realize and come to terms with the fact that you may not be able to control the behaviors of others but you have total control over how you respond to the behaviors of others.

I have decided to write a Behavior Plan for myself so that I can:

1. Identify a Goal
2. Identify the Behaviors that triggers me to respond in a negative manner
3. Identify my emotional responses to these behaviors
   
4. Understand why these particular behaviors causes me to respond in a negative manner
5. Identify positive ways that I can respond when I am faced in a "trigger situation"
   

#1 What Do You Hope To Accomplish / What is Your Goal?

You must have a goal so that you can know what it is that you are working towards. Some people like to have their goals in their head, I would suggest that you write it down on paper. When you write your goals down on paper you can actually see what it is that you are working towards. When you can visualize your goal, it makes it "real".

My Goal is ...
I want to have peace and order at work

#2 What Are Your Triggers?

The type of behaviors that triggers me are:
There is one resident who I will call "D" the behaviors that he displays that off sets my state of inner peace are:

• he requires constant monitoring
  
• he is verbally abusive
• he instigates the other residents and causes them to become upset
• he constantly calls my name
• he asks numerous questions
• he demands my attention

The other resident who I will call "Z" also exhibits behaviors that challenges my inner peace. Those behaviors are:

• he always has to have the last word
• he challenges my directives
• when I am talking to other residents or adults he interrupts my conversations without saying "excuse me"
• he fabricates the truth when he does not get his way

#3 What Are Your Emotional Response to These Behaviors?

When I am faced with people:

• who challenge my authority without due cause,
• who are verbally abusive,
  
• display attention seeking behaviors and
• who are rude

I respond by:

• Heart pounds more rapidly
• My head starts to hurt
• I lose my patience
• My voice raise
• My breathing becomes more rapid
• Feeling annoyed
  

#4: Dig Deep to Understand Why These Behaviors Trigger This Response

What is it about attention seeking behaviors, rudeness, verbal abuse and people who challenge me that causes me to lose my mental state of inner peace?

The behaviors are harmless, in fact other people deal with these same behaviors and these behaviors do not cause them to lose their inner peace. We all have our own trigger points. You have to discover your triggers and then dig deep to understand why certain behaviors effects you in such a manner.

Well, the reason why the above behaviors challenge my inner peace is because...
When I am faced with:

• Someone who continually challenges my authority without due cause I feel like I am being disrespected. I was raised that young people are suppose to respect their elders
  
• Someone who curses or who is verbally abusive... Again I feel disrespected and I also feel like I am in a chaotic situation.
  
• Someone who constantly demands my attention..I feel like they are drowning me, violating my personal space and leaving me no room to breath
• Someone who fabricates the truth... I feel uncomfortable because I have to constantly make sure that I all of my actions are covered.

So in a nutshell, My inner peace is threatened because I feel disrespected, suffocated, uncomfortable and violated.

#5 What Steps Do You Need To Take In Order To Respond Positive When You Are In a Trigger Situation?

In the beginning of this exercise I ask you to identify your goal. My goal was to have peace and order at work. The peace and order that I desire to have a work is going to come as a result of how I respond to the behaviors that I perceive as "triggers". You see before I can structure the youth, they must first see me as a person who is calm and peaceful.

The way that I can respond to the above behaviors in a positive manner is by:

1. Reinforce Positive Behaviors: A point sheet is a great way to reinforce the behaviors that you desire. The point sheet is a sheet which lists the behaviors that you desire to see improved through a rewards system. You can reward the youth with special privileges such as more phone time and unsupervised outings if they display appropriate behavior for a specific length of time. The point sheet will also help to discourage unwanted behaviors because if the residents do not display the behavior that is desired then they will not be rewarded privileges.
2. Ignore Behaviors: I also learned that if you ignore attention seeking behaviors the residents will usually stop.
   
3. Spend more time listening: I will devote at least 15 minutes a day to actually sit down with each resident and listen to their concerns. Listening helps the residents to feel like they are not being ignored. If the resident's feel like they are being heard then they will less likely act out.